Again and Again (An Undertale Fanfiction)

  

A soft, blue glow illuminated the tunnel to Waterfall as Frisk stepped inside. Their ears were met with the sound of rushing water, which soon faded into white noise as Frisk strolled along, deep in thought. They were walking on air after finishing their date with Papyrus. That lanky, lovable skeleton really was a sweetheart, even if his pasta was rancid. It was nice to have a fun distraction from the constant threats posed by the hostile monsters which seemed drawn to them like metal to a magnet.

The cavern then widened and Frisk saw several monsters milling about, chatting or watching the luminous underground river roll by. There were a few monsters whom Frisk recognized, and one in particular who smiled at them when they approached.

 “Hey, kiddo,” Sans the skeleton greeted casually. He sat behind a familiar wooden sentry station. “Howzit goin’?”

 “Good,” came Frisk’s simple reply. They were about to elaborate when a rumbling gurgle from their stomach interrupted them. The child blushed slightly in embarrassment.

 “You hungry?” Sans questioned knowingly. “Howzabout you an’ me go to Grillby’s for some grub? My treat.”

 Frisk beamed at the prospect of cleansing their pallet of the burnt spaghetti aftertaste and nodded enthusiastically.

 Sans stepped out from behind his sentry station. “This way, kid.” Oddly enough, he gestured in the opposite direction of the Waterfall entrance. “I know a shortcut.”

 The skeleton led Frisk around the corner and...through the front door of Grillby’s?

 “Here we are!” Sans announced, as if bending the laws of physics was perfectly normal. He greeted the other diner patrons as he led Frisk to the empty barstool seats at the back of the diner. Sans leaned forward on the counter and gestured to the stool beside him.

 Frisk eagerly seated themselves and nearly jumped when the unmistakable sound of a whoopie cushion sounded from beneath them.

 Sans guffawed uncontrollably at the mortified expression on Frisk’s face. When he calmed down, he remarked, “You gotta keep your wits about’cha, kid. Weirdos sometimes put whoopie cushions on the seats.”

 Frisk handed the whoopie cushion back to its rightful owner and properly sat down. They smiled in amusement and began skimming the menu which Grillby placed in front of them. It featured only two options: burger and fries. “May I have a burger, please?” they asked Grillby politely.

 “Make that two,” Sans added.

 The two made general small talk until the food arrived, and the tantalizing aroma caused Frisk’s mouth to start watering. Before Frisk could bite into their burger, however, Sans picked up the ketchup bottle and asked, “Want some ketchup on your burg?”

 Frisk nodded gratefully as they accepted the bottle from him. To their horror, however, when they went to squeeze some ketchup onto the burger, the loosened cap fell off and the food was drenched. Sans’s reaction was, once again, uproarious laughter, and Frisk found themselves chuckling too. Although they were a bit disappointed that the burger had been ruined, seeing their friend having such a good time was worth staying hungry just a little longer.

 Frisk’s face was smeared with tears and snot as they sprinted down the wood plank walkway. Their lungs and legs struggled to function through the agony, and the child’s eyesight was growing blurry from tears and terror. “Go away!” they cried in vain, their voice breaking. “Leave me alone!”

 More blue energy spears whizzed past, and a few left rips in their clothing and gashes along their body. Droplets of blood and sweat mixed and trickled down the child’s skin and face. Their muscles were aflame, and what little stamina they had was quickly failing them.

 The child screamed for help. They screamed until they felt like their vocal chords were shredded. But nobody came to their aid. Three well-aimed spears struck the child all at once, and their world faded into red-tinged agony.

 Frisk took one look at the stool and removed the pink whoopie cushion lying on top of it. “Thought you could use that one on me twice, huh?” they remarked playfully as they waved the whoopie cushion triumphantly in Sans’s face.

 The skeleton gave a golf clap in acknowledgement of Frisk’s keen awareness. He probably assumed they were referring to the incident with the whoopie-cushion-in-the-hand trick in the forest. “Looks like I underestimated you, kid. It’s not every day someone shuts down one of my pranks so skull-fully.”

 Frisk chuckled and seated themselves, and again they both ordered a burger. Sans brought up the same conversation topics as before, since he obviously had no recollection of having eaten with them already. It almost felt manipulative to be doing this all over again. But after the grim demise they had just met at Undyne’s hand, Frisk felt they deserved an extra treat. It was a good distraction from the phantom pain they felt by simply thinking about those spears.

 Just as Frisk anticipated, when the food arrived, Sans asked, “Want some ketchup on your burg?”

 Frisk paused before accepting the ketchup bottle from Sans. They stared at him knowingly. Upon closer examination, Frisk could easily spot the cracks in his poker face. The skeleton was barely containing his laughter. Wordlessly, Frisk screwed the loosened cap tightly shut before applying an appropriate amount of ketchup to the burger and digging in.

 Sans tapped them on the shoulder to get their attention. “You’re a sharp one, ain’t ya? How’d you know the cap was loose?”

 Frisk swallowed their food. “I've got a good memory.”

 The uneasy expression on Sans’s face caused a pit to form in Frisk’s stomach. “...Whaddya mean by that?”

 Sensing they had said too much, Frisk waved their hand dismissively. “Uh...never mind.” They pointed to Sans’s burger. “You gonna eat that or let it get cold?”

 Sans shook off whatever was hanging over him and smirked at the cheeky child as he chowed down.

 This time, Frisk was prepared for Undyne’s initial ambush. They set off at a sprint, and the spears began flying almost instantly. A few of them cut the child’s clothing and skin, but Frisk managed to dodge more of them and sustained fewer injuries than before.

 They made it all the way across the wood plank pathway and ducked into the cover of the long seagrasses on the other side. Frisk flattened themselves on the damp soil beneath, trying to make themselves as invisible as possible. They put their hands over their mouth to try and muffle their desperate gasps for air. The heavy footsteps grew nearer and nearer, and Frisk squeezed their teary eyes shut, wishing with all their might that Undyne might not see them and give up the chase.

 Suddenly, the grass beside Frisk began rustling, and the yellow, reptilian monster child from Snowdin suddenly stood next to them. He seemed bewildered and concerned upon seeing Frisk there, in their injured state.

 Frisk was relieved at first, thinking that he would distract Undyne and buy them time to escape. But then Monster Kid looked towards the towering, armored monster a few feet away and grinned happily. “Hey, Undyne! Come over here!” he piped up excitedly.

 The Captain of the Royal Guard drew closer before stopping dead in her tracks. Her boots were mere inches from Frisk’s face. The human child dared not look up at her. They felt like a mouse in the shadow of an apex predator, one who would not miss her mark from such close range. Vomit rose in Frisk’s throat as they braced themselves for another brutal end.

 “Have you met my new friend?” Monster Kid asked obliviously. “This is F-”

 Undyne grabbed Monster Kid by the head and lobbed him over her shoulder, leaving no one standing between her and her target.

 Frisk then became reacquainted with the sharp end of Undyne’s spear.

 “You're getting fries?” Sans questioned.

 They nodded. “I wanted to try something new…” Frisk then realized their error and hastily added, “Uh…’cause I've never had fries before!”

 Sans gave the human a long, disbelieving look.

 The child slumped forward, letting their long bangs hide their eyes. Their whole body burned with anxiety. This was supposed to be a fun experience, eating out with one of their favorite monsters. Dying repeatedly, however, seemed to suck the joy out of absolutely everything. It had gotten to the point where Frisk no longer feared death. Their determination was so great that, as long as they wanted to come back to life, they would return to their save point in Snowdin. What they feared most was the agonizing pain they felt every time Undyne succeeded, and the new ways she managed to strike terror into their heart.

 Frisk wasn’t even sure why they kept coming back to eat with Sans. There was a strange comfort in the compulsive habit of running to him. Grillby’s was a sanctuary of greasy food and smiling faces. Undyne and King Asgore and everyone down here who wanted to hurt them simply did not exist while they were here with Sans. At least, that was what Frisk chose to believe in order to preserve their sanity.

 “Huh. Then I’m glad your first taste of ‘em is here. Grillby’s food is to fry for!” Sans quipped.

 Relieved that he hadn't questioned their awkward response, Frisk gave him a small smile. Sans, of course, was about to carry on with his regular set of dialogue. Normally, that would be fine, but Frisk wasn’t ready to let the conversation unfold naturally this time. They needed to cement the moment with something new and meaningful, as if to somehow justify revisiting this happy outing again and again.

 “Uh...Sans?” Frisk said nervously. “Thank you so much for spending time with me. I had a lot of fun today.” They leaned over and gave the skeleton a tight side hug.

 The stocky skeleton was surprised by the unexpected display of gratitude, but hugged the child back anyway. “It’s no big deal, kiddo. We can eat here again anytime you like.”

 The irony in that friendly offer stung Frisk’s very soul.

 Rather than try to hide in the tall grass like before, Frisk decided to keep running and not stop for any reason whatsoever. This time, Undyne didn’t stop to acknowledge Monster Kid in the seagrass. Instead, she barreled past him and continued to fling spears at the fleeing human. Carrying the weight of all that armor, however, seemed to be steadily slowing her down. Frisk was just starting to hope they’d lose her when one spear struck the ground directly in front of them. The child tripped on it and plunged into the freezing water ahead of the path. Flailing their arms wildly, Frisk swam upwards and breached the surface with a loud gasp.

 Moments later, a strong hand grabbed them by the shirt and yanked them into the air. Completely drenched and shivering, Frisk yelped in terror as they were turned around to face the Captain of the Royal Guard yet again.

 “Thought you could get away from me?” Undyne taunted, her voice dripping with malice and having a somewhat resonant quality inside the helmet.

 Frisk began to hyperventilate. This was too much for their battered soul to handle. It was bad enough to be caught and killed, but why did she have to make such a show about it? “P-please! I d-didn’t do anything! I don’t wanna die! I-I don’t-”

 “Shut up!” Undyne hollered, creating a new energy spear in her free hand. “I’m doing you a favor, human! We have six souls already, and your seventh and final soul will break the barrier and turn King Asgore into a god. All my friends, their families, everyone’s going to be free!” A growl emanated from inside the helmet, turning Frisk’s blood to ice. “So stop complaining, you little brat!”

 Down came the spear, driven through their chest.

 “You hungry?” Sans questioned from behind his Waterfall sentry station. “Howzabout you an’ me go to Grillby’s for-”

 “No!” Frisk objected, a bit too forcefully.

 The skeleton’s glowing white pupils shrank inside his sockets, and a wounded expression emerged on his face. He looked as if Frisk had just slapped him. Before Sans could say anything, the flustered and embarrassed Frisk quickly excused themselves into the next room.

 Shame crawled along their neck. It wasn’t right for them to treat their friend so rudely, but they had to take this chance. All they had to do was get a head start, which, unfortunately, meant skipping lunch with Sans. It felt like betrayal, but if Frisk could reach Hotland without being spotted by her, then the cycle of pain would stop. Maybe they’d even stop feeling so guilty about being alive.

 When they reached the ambush room, they were pleased to see no sign of Undyne or her lethal spears. Wasting no time, Frisk rushed into the next room, checking over their shoulder frequently. There was no telling where Undyne might be, or if she was tracking and watching them even now. They hurried onwards.

 A short and a few rooms later, Frisk started to lay the bridge seeds down to form a path across the water. For once, all seemed peaceful. No monsters had seen and approached them yet, not even Undyne. Maybe sacrificing their time with Sans had been worth it.

 Their unspoken hopes were dashed when they heard heavy footsteps approaching from the room ahead. Frisk quickly scrambled away and threw themselves behind a wall just as Undyne appeared, probably on her way to meet with Papyrus and hear his report. When no more footsteps could be heard, Frisk peered around the corner to see why, hoping she had been forced to turned around due to the incomplete bridge.

 But she was still there. The fully-armored monster was inspecting the bridge seeds on the water’s surface. The human child tried to quiet their manic breathing and squeezed their eyes shut to try and make themselves invisible. A loud thud and metallic clang told Frisk that Undyne had jumped over the water. Then the footsteps grew louder, and the walls shook slightly.

 As Undyne turned the corner, the child sank down onto their knees and resigned to their fate. Undyne, of course, was surprised by the human’s sudden appearance, but gladly seized the opportunity before her. She rewarded the child with a swift death.

 I’ll never escape this.

 That thought brought a morbid sense of relief to Frisk. There was no reason to fight destiny anymore. They had died countless times, and were sure to die countless more. Getting past the Captain of the Royal Guard was virtually impossible. Trying was proven to be pointless.

 But there was another option, one which had initially been unthinkable but grew increasingly appealing with each consecutive death. If they couldn't win this game, then the ideal solution was to stop playing altogether. Giving up meant the cycle would be broken. The pain would end. The guilt would go away.

 The snow beneath the human’s boots crunched as they walked away from Snowdin and into the cavern to Waterfall. A light snowfall danced around the child. Frisk had never paid much attention to the weather during their previous walks from Snowdin to Waterfall. Now, however, Frisk felt as though they were viewing the world with new eyes. They wanted to let every sensory detail sink in before they left this place for good.

 They stopped just before the cavern and held out their hand. A snowflake gently floated down and landed in their palm. It began to melt almost instantly from Frisk’s body heat, until it was nothing more than a water droplet.

 Frisk watched this process unfold and gazed up into the sky with a heavy heart. Each of those snowflakes was had a unique shape and trajectory. They were all beautiful in a way that could not be replicated. But they all spiraled downwards towards the same destination, fated to lose that uniqueness as they melted. Then they would evaporate and remain in the air until they once again fell as snow, trapped in a never-ending cycle. Frisk could sympathize.

 They entered the cavern and marveled at the luminescent water and dark walls. How had they not taken the time to appreciate the natural beauty of this cavern before? Frisk approached Sans’s sentry station and, before the skeleton could say a word, walked right up to him before pulling him into a tight embrace.

 The surprised skeleton chuckled nervously. “Uh, nice to see you too, kid.”

 Frisk was quiet for a time, still hugging Sans and not caring what the other monsters in the cavern thought, if they were even paying attention. Thankfully, Sans made no attempt to move, letting Frisk enjoy the moment for as long as they could. When Frisk eventually pulled away, they regarded Sans with genuine sorrow. Did he know he had brought them joy in the midst of unfathomable anguish? Most likely not. And he never would, Frisk decided. It was probably better for his sanity that way.

 “Meet me at the bridge where we first met as soon as you get off work,” Frisk instructed softly and seriously. “There’s something I need to give you.”

 With that, they walked back towards Snowdin, leaving behind a very perplexed skeleton.

 Fifteen minutes later, Frisk reached the bridge and found Sans already there, waiting for them. He was very clearly uncomfortable, yet trying to act casual as he greeted the human child. “Hey, Frisk. You wanted to see me?”

 Frisk took a deep breath. It was all leading up to this, the one moment they had been dreading and anticipating. Their vibrant red soul emerged from their chest, floating in place above their cupped hands. “I...I want you to take my soul to King Asgore.”

 As expected, Sans recoiled in shock. “Wh-what?! Kid, you’re not makin’ any sense…”

 “You're a sentry, aren't you?” Frisk asked bitterly, looking away. “Well, do your job and take my soul.”

 Sans now seemed visibly alarmed. He looked like a monster in the midst of defusing a bomb. “Frisk, what the hell is goin’ on?”

 Frisk ignored his question. It was too late to ask things like that. They couldn’t possibly back out now, especially after hearing themselves say out loud that they wanted to die. “It's...it’s better this way.” They tried to muster up a smile as they locked eyes with him. “With my soul, monsters will get to live on the surface. You’ll all be free. And I want you to be the one to take the last soul. Sans, you’ll be a h-hero...and…”

 Sans put his bony hands on Frisk’s shoulders. “Frisk, stop messing around. You're scarin’ me. Getting to the surface isn't worth you killing yourself, and I sure as hell don't want to take credit for something like that. I wanna be free as much as the next monster, but...but this…” He gestured to their soul wildly. “This isn't the answer!”

 “No! There’s no other way out! You don’t understand!” Frisk objected as they pulled away, fists clenched. They had to persuade him before they lost their nerve and questioned what they were doing.

 “What don’t I understand?!” Sans retorted. “And what do you mean ‘no other way out’?”

 Tears welled in Frisk’s eyes. They could already feel their resolve crumbling. “I-I'm tired of being hunted by Un...monsters all the time! I-I just want it to stop. I can't l-live like this, Sans…I can't live like this...”

 Sans’s gaze softened. He took a step towards the human child. “...Frisk, who put all these ideas in your head?”

 Frisk’s breathing hitched. He was dangerously close to learning the truth. “N-no one. This was my idea…”

 “I’m not buyin’ that.” The skeleton sighed and regarded the child carefully. “You seemed so happy just a few hours ago when you left to hang out with Papyrus, but now…” He looked them up and down, as if seeing them for the first time. “You’re like a completely different person, Frisk.”

 The human wrapped their arms around themselves. They wished his words didn’t sound so rational. The more he spoke to dissuade them, the more Frisk could sense their resistance dripping away. Their entire body suddenly felt extremely fragile, like a thin pane of glass. Staring deep into Sans’s eye sockets, Frisk knew they were helpless to sway him. He simply cared too much about their well-being to put an end to their misery.

 Frisk’s internal walls were all but rubble as they started to ramble, “I can’t get p-past her, Sans. She’s too f-fast and strong, and I’m j-just…I’m-”

 The red soul floated back into their chest cavity. Sans, with a deep frown, then embraced the human child, eliciting a sharp gasp of surprise from them. His voice was thick with sorrow as he whispered another question that turned Frisk’s blood into ice. “How many times?”

 Frisk didn’t answer, too shocked to form words.

 After a few seconds of silence, Sans asked again, more serious and specific this time. “How many times did she catch you?”

 A shudder ran through them as the unpleasant memories began to resurface. They wanted so badly to spill everything at once, to tell him about ambushes, the deaths, the lunches, and so much more. But they shoved the urge down. There was so much pain in those memories, too much to burden him with. They couldn’t do that to him. He would hate them forever if they opened their mouth and barraged him with problems that weren’t his own.

 “Please, kid,” Sans urged desperately. “I won’t be mad. I just wanna help.”

 With that, the floodgates opened. The raw emotion Frisk was trying to repress came bubbling up. Between the choking sobs, they answered, “I...I lost track after f-forty…”

 Sans’s grip on the human child tightened upon hearing that number.

 “How...how did you know? Can you remember…?” Frisk asked weakly.

 Sans shook his head. “No. It's just a feelin’ I have, really. You always did seem strangely prepared for the unexpected, like you’ve seen this all before. And with what you were saying about being ‘stuck’...I just put two and two together.”

 Frisk buried their face in his shirt. “I-I don't wanna go back out there just to get killed. If I give m-myself up, I won't have to be scared anymore...”

 “Listen to me, Frisk,” Sans whispered sincerely. “I know it seems bad right now. I know this seems impossible and you’re thinkin’ about giving up. Trust me, I've had days like that. But you hafta understand...you’re not some disposable power source. You’re a person. A friend worth saving. The kind of friend I didn't know I needed in my life. I'm sure Papyrus and all the other monsters you've befriended feel the same way. Life on the surface would be awful without you there to make us smile.”

 Frisk’s knees grew weaker with each word, until they started to slump down, kneeling on the ground with Sans still holding them to his chest. The faces of Toriel, Papyrus, and the other monsters which they had met along the way appeared in their mind. Frisk couldn't imagine any of them rejoicing at freedom at the cost of their death. How could they have forgotten those kind souls which had spared them? Tears of repressed anguish and newfound relief streamed down their cheeks and soaked Sans’s shirt. Their throat felt constricted and sputtering sobs escaped their lips as they gave in to Sans and his comfort. It was like they were back in Grillby’s, yet more liberating. A great pressure weighing upon them had been lifted, and the child felt as light as air now. They couldn't help but cry tears of joy as they reflected on the smiling faces of all the monsters they’d befriended. Sans was absolutely right. With everything out in the open, their shame evaporated like dry ice in boiling water.

 “I dunno how many times we might’ve had this conversation,” Sans went on sullenly. “And I may not remember if something bad happens to you. But you know you can always come back to me if you're feeling down. You could’ve come to me after the first time she got you.”

 Mustering up enough air to speak, Frisk replied, “I did come to you...a lot. We ate lunch at Grillby’s more times than I can count. But every time I wanted to say what was going on, I couldn’t figure out how to...t-to…”

 “How to tell me?” San guessed. “I’m pretty sure I would’ve understood, kiddo.”

 Frisk wiped their tears away. “I-It's not that. I just didn't wanna upset you…I didn’t wanna make you deal with my problems.”

 Sans sighed and shook his head. “You can’t handle everything life throws at you, Frisk. I know you're very determined, but sooner or later, there’s gonna come a time when you’re in over your head. It happens to everyone at some point.” He smiled reassuringly. “But you don't have to go it alone. That's just one perk to having friends. We love you, and that means we’re more than happy to share the load.” He stroked his skeletal chin before adding, “In fact, I might be able to help. I can escort you past Undyne if she’s causing you so much trouble.”

 Frisk smiled from ear to ear. “Wait, really?!” Then the frown returned. “But, won’t you lose your job if you leave your post?”

 “Nah,” Sans assured confidently. “It won’t take that long, and Undyne doesn’t know about my shortcuts. We can hop around and enjoy all the scenic parts of Waterfall and avoid her altogether. I know you normally like to travel alone, but...could you maybe make an exception?”

 Frisk nodded enthusiastically, mentally kicking themselves for not thinking of this. “I’d love that!” They could feel the determination welling within them, burning brighter than it had in a long time.

 Snowflakes began to float down around them, but this time, Frisk viewed them with a happier outlook. They were drifting towards an unknown destination with limitless and unknown possibilities. There would always be something new to look forward to around the bend. They’d been so scared before, but with Sans by their side, Frisk was ready to make that sort of journey. Their joy wasn't confined to Grillby’s. It would come with them, in the form of memories and the companionship of the people they loved.

 Sans chuckled warmly. “Then let’s get going. This is gonna tibia lotta fun, kiddo. I guarantee it!”

 Frisk giggled and began to follow the skeleton to his next shortcut, only to remember something and blurt out, “Wait!”

 The skeleton spun around and blinked in surprise.

 “Before we go to Waterfall…” the human child suggested sheepishly. “Uh...could we stop and eat at Grillby’s?”

 The smile on Sans’s face grew as he patted their head. “Why not? It’s tradition by now, isn’t it?”

    THE END